Dear Addict Contribution

You know, looking back, I think I was just fighting a major depression. Pain pills made me happy. And when I was happier, I thought that I was better. I was a better mother, a better wife, a better friend - you get the idea. I was so sad inside that I really believed being high on opiates made me a better person than the person I was while sober. Addiction whispered that lie to me and I wrapped my arms around it, heralding the lie as sound truth for many years after. But believing drugs made me better was the second lie addiction told.

The first lie addiction tells is the most dangerous. The first lie addiction told me was that I could pop a pill every now and then and never become chemically dependent. I remembered reviewing pictures in 8^th grade health class that revealed a strung out, homeless creature who sat on a curb somewhere in LA, his nose half rotted off, his skeletal body showing through worn, ratty clothes - and I believed there was no way in hell I could ever become an ignorant, filthy dope head.

Believing that first lie was as easy as believing the sun would rise the following morning. I mean, how in the hell could someone not see that they were growing into such a monster? I believed the examples of strung out messes on the streets of America in the 1980's were people who chose to be the self-afflicted outcasts of society. But see, that's the way the majority of American educators and parents unknowingly pushed my generation to believe back then: addiction was a choice, not a disease with symptoms and relapse and withdrawal and daily battles to become well by becoming sicker.

Though well-intended, the educational and parental misguidance through drug awareness campaigns of the past left many of my generation with an absolute and completely false sense of security over the fact that we would never choose to become such a devilish, criminal outcast that drug addicts were repeatedly portrayed to be. The results of this prominent misunderstanding have speckled and spotted my life with a guilt and shame that I then buried with the temporary peace of being high over and over again. We drug addicts were taught that a person can choose not to be that strung out, homeless creature. We drug addicts were taught that we would never, ever become a monster if we didn't choose to become one by being a drug addict.

Somewhere, somehow, they didn't know to tell me that it would not be my choice. They did not know that they should teach me that for some people, drugs would become the single, most important pursuit of each waking moment. They didn't know that some of their students should be taught that using drugs could lead to an addiction they could not begin to understand. For some, an addiction in which all attempts to satisfy the constant need for the drug pushes them into accepting a world of actions that, had they been allowed a glimpse into the possible future while sitting in 8^th grade health class, would have left them howling in fear, being shown the picture of what they would become.

And what I became would have given the 8^th grade version of myself post-traumatic stress disorder had I been able to peer into the future from that seat in health class. From Lortab, to Methadone, pharmaceuticals to crystal meth, smiling mother of beautiful daughters to a convicted drug trafficker hardened from interacting with people who were . . . well, just like me . . . I changed into a strung-out, loveless creature who would have been concerned with sitting on a curb somewhere only because a Jefferson County Sheriff may see me crazy high and dealing meth, the ignorant, selfish, filthy-minded and hard-heartened dope head I indeed did not choose to be.

And every day I would choose a normal, sober, sane, nice-smelling life if the persistent screams of knowing how happy the high could make me would just leave my thoughts. After believing the lie of the high - the lie of addiction - it is never the same life again.

Read This Week's DEAR ADDICT Here

Dear Addict

Column 1, Issue 2



Hello Again.

Feels good to know your're still no longer alone, doesn't it?

Because you're not, you don't have to do this alone, nor can you do this alone!

So, talk to me, to somebody, reach out.

Email me www.dearaddict@gmail.com, or leave me a private message right here on my home page - I assure you these are private messages. Lastly, your're welcome to leave your phone number and I would be more than happy to chat.

Your're not as bad a person as you think. It is through sharing with another addict we learn there is always an addict who was much worse off than us and they're staying clean. So we can be also. But not alone. So, talk to me.

Entire Article Here

Dear Addict

Column One, Issue One

HOWDY and WELCOME!!!!!!!!!!

Nice to know you're not alone isn't it!

Thanks for dropping in, I promise it's quite a ride, buckle up, I also promise it's a safe trip.

Today's issue;

>what is Dear Addict? >where is Dear Addict? >What is an Addict? > who the heck is Kim Gray? > How can you tell if you're an Addict? > Drug Facts and Stats this issue; crack cocaine > and who is Jeanne? Lastly, content Index/Subject matter for next issue, including questions and answers.

Entire Issue Here

Dear Addict

Launches May 5th
Associated Content



Dear Addict is launching Monday May 5th at 6am. I am really excited.

Dear Addict however lives through your participation, your comments and experiences, your questions and advise.

Dear Addict while a serious subject about a serious disease will be insightful I promise and when appropriate a forum to have a sense of humor about ourselves.

Dear Addict is simply people sharing each others experience, strength and hope. It will not preach any one way of doing any one thing.

Anything goes. Help is here, through each other. So please, tell each other.

Entire Article Here

Federally Affected

He held Federal Convictions and a lot of time
I held a power of attorney and his life became mine

INTERPOL's top list with warrants and he was Federally wanted
DEA and ROPE'S Bounty Hunters, it was me that they haunted

I wanted to help but crumbled with uncertainty
Detectives were rough and I was alone just with me

I learned far too much and became too comfortable
with guns, badges, searches and dogs while living so portable

Entire Poem Here

Talking to Your Kids About Drugs

By Michelle WathaM
Associated Content Producer

Talking to your kids about drugs may be difficult sometimes. Parents often don't know where to start or exactly what to say about drugs. All we can do is explain to kids why drugs are bad for them. If we constantly remind them every few years why drugs are bad then they will most likely remember it if they are faced with peer pressure in the future.

Explaining to kids about drugs is important. It is better for them to be educated about drugs by adults than it is for them to learn about drugs from other people their own range rage. We can only educate them by telling them how and why drugs are bad. Teenagers usually do listen to parents about drugs even though we may think that they don't listen to us.

Entire Article Here

Why Don't You Get Dressed and Come Down?

Picking up pieces of myself after dropping everything for a few, and
The attestation you endlessly display leaves me with only one truth.
The dilemma I always allow me to face gives rise to obsolete excuse:
The problem's not the lack of concern, but its aroma that will confuse.

Why don't you get dressed and come down here,
With these adversaries, these rivals, these foes, these
Merciless creatures, come here to hunt, come here to wrinkle your nose?
I can't understand why I just don't want their patronizing time!

Entire Poem Here

Poem: The Addict's Hallmark

Just a note for Mother's day
I hope you are doing well.
If you are and can spare a dime
Please drop it in the mail.

Entire Poem Here

Interview With a Gaslighting Victim:

The Rhonda Parkinson Story

Wikipedia defines this little known evil as such: "Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse. It uses persistent denials of fact which, as they build up over time, make the victim progressively anxious, confused, and less able to trust his or her own memory and perception. A variation of gaslighting, used as a form of harassment, is to subtly alter aspects of a victim's environment, thereby upsetting his or her peace of mind, sense of security, etc."

The term is coined from a 1940's film, Gaslight. The character Gregory lights the gas lamps in the attic, causing the rest of the lamps in the house to dim slightly. When his wife, Paula, comments on the lights' dimming, Gregory tells her that she is imagining things. Paula believes herself alone in the house when the dimming occurs. She is unaware that Gregory has entered the attic from the house next door in order to search for jewels he believes to be hidden there. The sinister interpretation of the change in light levels is part of a larger pattern of deception to which the character Paula is subjected.

Since first writing the article "What Is Gaslighting? The Extremes of Emotional Abuse," I have received numerous emails from victims, many of whom had no idea that they were being subjected to emotional abuse. These victims actually believed they were insane, continually blaming themselves for the problems within the relationships with their abusers.

Entire Article Here

Epiphany of a Recovering Drug Addict

I did not want to be a high grandmother. Although the courts gave me added incentive to be compliant with a treatment plan, it has been solely my own choice to not use methamphetamine since August of 2007.

My granddaughter is almost six months old now, and I am certain that when she reaches the age of five years old, I will be able to say "I have been clean for five years." The extreme difference between the person I am on methamphetamine and the sober person I am today can be clearly seen. I am gainfully employed and no longer using or dealing drugs.

Entire Article Here

Personal Experience at the Hannah Home In Alabama

Homeless Shelters Are Not Necessarily "Rock Bottom"



Ordinarily, women's shelters are established for a variety of reasons. For the battered and abused women and children of our society, these homes can mean a safe and secure place to live, sleep, and begin a new, productive life. For those who are displaced, or have no home of their own, the shelters meet the many needs for a woman and her children, as well as for single women.

For me, it meant an alternative to prison while attending counseling for drug addiction in 2001. What I found in the surprisingly warm, attentive atmosphere are things I will never forget.

When first hearing of the alternative plan for my sentence, I was happy to be able to leave jail, and of course ready to be just about anywhere authorities would allow me to be instead of behind bars. But I viewed a woman's shelter quite differently than they in fact are. Upon entering the group home in a county to the north of my own here in Alabama, I met smiling faces and warm reassurances that everything would be okay.

Entire Article Here

What Was That Drug Addict THINKING?

Dorothy has a daughter who is not trusted in her home, even when accompanied by her family. "If Tiffany leaves a room, I know she is looking for something to steal so she can get drugs. If she wants to use our bathroom, I have to watch to make sure she doesn't take a detour into one of the bedrooms."

Dorothy has attempted to manage the sad relationship with her youngest daughter for many years. Her daughter is addicted to K-4's. She is an intravenous user. K-4 is the street name for the drug Dilaudid, a serious narcotic.

Like all opioids used for analgesia, hydromorphone (Dilaudid) is potentially habit-forming. It is listed in Schedule II of the United States' Controlled Substances Act of 1970, and is listed in the Single Convention On Narcotic Drugs.

Unfortunately, most Americans either know someone or are related to someone who is addicted to drugs or alcohol. Those who have never been addicted to an altering substance justifiably have a hard time understanding the mindset of those who have.

With that in mind, the following is an attempt to help others understand the battle raging inside an addict. This is not an attempt to excuse actions acted upon by addicts, but rather, it is a journey into the many underlying causes through which this disease literally drags an addict.


Entire Article Here

Will the Morgue Help Lindsay Lohan?

A Recovering Addict Says "No."

Going through the motions and fulfilling the requirements set by the courts concerning her DUI conviction, Lindsay Lohan will now have to spend time in a morgue. Evidently this will make Lohan come to the realization that her actions are potentially fatal. Ironically, she will spend more time in the morgue than her 84 minute stint in jail, however.

People magazine reports that she is to spend two, 4-hour days in the morgue witnessing fatalities and such, and after that, Lohan is set to spend two days working in a hospital emergency room.

I hate to be a killjoy here, but let's get one thing perfectly clear: the disease of addiction will always run its course. Lohan can look at all the dead bodies the courts want her to look at, but it will not make a difference until she is tired of using and wants a different lifestyle.

Entire Article Here

Other Types of Addiction

Addiction
By Genevieve Dowd Corwin

It didn't start out this way.
At first, I started off nice and slow.
Spent little money and indulged occasionally.
The more money you make, the more you want to spend.
It became very accessible.
There became more and more places to get it and more people willing to sell.
You can do it anywhere.
Home, out with your friends, or by yourself.
It even got me in trouble getting caught doing it at work.
It made me so happy.

Entire Poem Here

Methadone Maintenance Programs:the Cure for Opiate Addiction

According to the Office of National Drug Control Policy, "Methadone is a rigorously well-tested medication that is safe and efficacious for the treatment of narcotic withdrawal and dependence." 1

Years ago, I believed that I could not give up my little pain pill habit. Lortab, Lorcet, Tylox, whatever opioid pill I could con out of a doctor or buy for about $4 a pill on the streets, I usually took no more than eight in a twenty-four hour period, and had "weaned" down to about five a day when I decided I needed to get help. That was years ago, when I truly did not understand what a drug addiction could tragically become.

I started thumbing through the phone book in search of rehabilitative support. The group thing didn't appeal to me. I wanted relief from withdrawals, even though a small five pill a day habit was not, I had yet to learn, hard withdrawals from a drug. I found a Methadone Maintenance Program here in Jefferson County that promised relief from withdrawals while giving professional support and counseling to rid me of my addiction to hydrocodone. I was amazed.

The next day, I was up at dawn waiting to be seen by a doctor at the Methadone clinic. I noticed that even though the doors to the clinic were yet to be unlocked, there were about twenty to thirty people waiting outside. Once open for business, the nurse took down my information, and I was ushered through the process of a blood test, paying a $60 fee to begin the Methadone Maintenance Program, and finally was placed in a line in the main lobby, behind other Methadone patients.

When it came my turn at the Methadone clinic's dosing window, enclosed behind steel bars and offering a counter at my immediate front, I was told to sign my name. I paid her $11 to dose. The nurse, locked in a small room that held many, many rows of small plastic bottles containing Methadone on shelves that ran the length and height of the room, used a small knife to cut open the foil seal on the top of evidently my prescribed bottle. She then poured water into the bottle of Methadone, bringing the amount of liquid about full. She handed this through the small window and placed it on the counter before me, instructing me to drink it all in front of her. I obeyed. The Methadone tasted horrible, even when diluted with water. She offered a small, paper cup of water and told me to drink that in front of her as well. I did. Then she wanted to see inside my mouth. At first, I was perplexed, then realized she wanted to make sure I did not leave with any Methadone in my mouth. They had prescribed me 30mgs of Methadone.

Entire Article Here

The Incarceration Cure?

Locking Up The Chemically Dependant

           

Example
The gavel lifts and slams, papers are shuffled, signed, placed in a folder, and a bailiff instructs a twenty-two year old African American male who is seated temporarily in the juror box with other Jefferson County inmates awaiting a hearing in Circuit Court.

Having pled guilty to a possession charge, Roy listens to the bailiff explain the process of entering the Alabama Department of Corrections' Processing Location, Kilby Correctional Facility. Serving a year and a day actually becomes around three months when tallying time off for good behavior, and is defined as "you'll be there for a minute," by those handcuffed to each of Roy's hands.

Roy's mother is in the courtroom, self-conscious about the tears streaming down her cheeks, watching the judge with a desperate look. It's as if she is waiting for the judge to suddenly pull back the papers he has just signed that will send her son to hell with monsters. Maybe he will rewind everything, and even take back what he said to her son that had shaken her to the very core: "Well, obviously you don't like getting up and making a sandwich whenever you want, Son - I guess you just don't like freedom. You didn't even try to go to support group meetings, did you? I don't really think you can be helped. And Alabama wants you off its streets."

Entire Article

Nicotine Addictions

Addiction

By JConstance

I sneak around
Seeking out the places I hid my paraphernalia
Away from family
Away from my friends
An ashtray
The lighter that caught my eye in the store
Just a day ago I confessed I had quit
And that I had gained the willpower to simply ignore the cravings
Obsessively doing things
Trying to keep busy
As I complete my daily tasks
I pass by my purse
The sewn fabric that holds just enough to buy a pack....

Entire Poem Here

101 Ways to Hurt Your Loved Ones

A Day In the Life of Two Crystal Meth Addicts

Though there are many different ways to hurt your loved ones while addicted to Crystal Meth, a loving family can forgive when there is sincerity present.

However, the deteriorating nature of a long-term, chronic Crystal Meth user becomes such that true healing and closure may never come for some wounds.

A similar situation would be having just watched an extremely graphic horror movie depicting suffering (or something in which you normally would or could not watch), only to reconsider the choice all too late. Just as there were images depicted in that regretfully viewed horror movie that you may never "un-see," there are emotionally detrimental words exchanged during heated arguments or actions decided upon selfishly that you cannot "un-say, "un-hear," or "undo."

Entire Article Here